i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
