I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
my liver is dry heaving
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
