Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
