last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
