I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
