He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
