Too much gin, very little bucket
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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