my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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