He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
