I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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