coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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