I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
