Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
