I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
