her vagine was all disorganized.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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