We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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