i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
