Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
