i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
