Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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