he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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