So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
