i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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