No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
