it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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