I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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