My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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