i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
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I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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