dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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