I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
