when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
