soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
