hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You've changed since you got that strap on
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