That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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