Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
