Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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