some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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