Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
