Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
