paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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