ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
