There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
bring money and cleavage
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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