would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
