Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
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I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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