At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
