Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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