I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
