So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
