we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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