Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
