You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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