It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Less talking, more tequila
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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