What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
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Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
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She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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