I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
