The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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