How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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