she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
