I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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