She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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