butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize