she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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