ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
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