direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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