If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
