I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
