Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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