Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i need an iv and a liver transplant
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
